failure...

been some time since i blog..think no one will visit this blog anymore..but i hope a certain special someone will read it..

last nite was terrible. i have been so useless in protecting my dear one.. caused hurt and disappointment to her.. now i cant contact her.. cant talk to her.. cant see her.. what am i to do? i have to be strong..but the anxiety in me is hurting me too.. we have been together for 3 years.. that aint a short time together.. there have been lots of happy moments.. lots of crazy laughter.. i cant imagine doing all the things we have done together with anyone else anymore..

maybe this is again a weakness.. again too much dependence on another individual.. i miss her.. i truly miss her alot..

31 May

haha todays vesak day...i actually din believe many ppl will go across the causeway..and boy i was so freaking wrong!! haha..first thing tat gave this away was the amount of cars i saw entering the custom..hahaha this is the first time i seen cars queuing up like ppl..jostling for spaces somemore..haha and i tink i saw some cutting queue too..wonderful sight

then when it was my turn to queue for the human custom..oh my god...it was a mass of ppl...a huge gathering of homo sapiens in a tiny custom hall...no lines indicating the individual queues..no officers to keep order..haha..no one to appease the singaporean complaints i keep hearing...o well..queue i shall..queue i had.. i chose a queue that seems to be the "proper" one..and wait with the patience of a melting glacier..and wait...and wait..haha lo and behold..when i was nearing the counter..i found that there was a huge mess up..the 2 other queues to my right and left, together with my queue..turned out to be queuing for the same counter..haha and so there was some convergent evolution going on...like 3-in-1 (my daily dose of coffee...haha...).. o well...i used the lenard shoulder to block out potential cut-queuers..haha it is a mighty shoulder..capable of sneakily shove ppl back without their knowing it..a shoulder so sharp...it cuts the queue like nobody's business..haha..finally i managed to get to the front..and get past the inefficient custom..

then on we went to the shopping mall for our movies...dear and i agreed that we shd get the movie tickets first..and guess wat we watched?? Shrek3!!! freaking funny!! haha..i like the gingerbread man..and the watery eyes of the puss in boots..hahaha...a must watch lor!! erm..but im ahead of myself..to buy the tickets, we have to queue again!!! again!! again!!! argh.. haha but this time i cant use my mighty sharp shoulder..haiz...

after the movie...which was so funny!! haha..cant stop saying that... dear and me went for lunch...we wanted to go for the kim gary restaurant..but there was a queue again!!! haha that was too much for us...so we went for the laksa restaurant next door..haha...no need to queue...and the smell was so tantalizing...we had a very full meal!!

well..the time was still abit early..so we went for abit shopping...haha and dear bought a pair of slippers?? shoes?? haha dun know how to describe female footwear..for my mum and herself..haha..then it was time for me to get back le...haiz..so sad...cant see dear for so many days...

at the jb custom...well...i shdnt be surprised anymore..there was another queuing waiting for me...so again with the patience of a glacier..i grind the ground..inch by painful inch towards the counter..haha...and finally made it thru!! with only a little melting this time..

mercifully...after the jb custom..everything went much faster for me..i was almost the first on the bus...the first to go thru sg custom...almost first to get on bus again...train came almost immediately..haha... -phew!!-

haha...i tink im the queue-king today!! all hail the Q-King!!

it started out...

haha the day (22nd Jun) started out as mundanely as it possibly can get..rushing to class (9am!) ..listening to the lect rumble on... haha.. then we went back to have some delicious own-cooked dumpling (-ahem- it IS delicious..haha..) not quite filling though..and so we helped ourselves to some of the tidbits especially for cbe ppl..haha..

second part of the day was more exciting...we went to outram park station.. to the cnb building there to collect some materials for the anti-drug abuse campaign (haha..my first volunteering experience)...after that..we decided to explore some..haha.. and boy did we explore...

a wonderful day it was.. haha it was my first time spontaneously deciding to just simply go exploring... we were supposed to go back ntu to do our part time job after the collection..but heck it..haha...

first, we wanted to check out this church which turned out to be about to be torn down...haah so we did a u-turn and went back to the station...then we decided to go smith street where the 'great' food street is ...haha.. and so off we went..no map in hand... no idea on my part where smith street is.. just a general feel of the correct direction...haha.. like adventurers of days past.. we set off into the unknown territory tat is my homeland..

onwards we trot..bags of free gifts in hands...spirits high as the birds fly..across dangerous roads..tempting foods..blundering angmoh tourists...over bridges..and it turned out..we overshot our targeted street and landed at chinatown complex..woah..and a mighty overshot it was..haha.. (and unless u have keen interest in art or handicraft..haha do not go there)

then we checked out the directory maps again near the mrt underpass...haha lo and behold.. we realised our folly...and so back down our trodden paths we walked...and finally reached our beautiful smith street....which turned out to be just one street down where we were previously!! hahaha...gosh...on my part a mighty blunder that was ...haha but o well.. we had fun checking out the streets and shops.. and at last we could settle our sustennance issue for the day...hahaha...

haha.not bad eh? two first times for me in a single day...really happy around her..so relaxed..so daring..so carefree...haha...

had a great day!

hahaha..today (24th May 2006) then i realised how wonderful it is to spend a day with the one u like, doing the things both of us we enjoyed...haha... well.. we went to the zoo today...after many years since the last visit for both of us.. wondrous experience it was ...arrived around 9 am plus.. haha.. left only when it was closing... walked through all the walk-in displays and habitation.. sat through all the possible animal shows we could arrive on time.. haha.. din get splashed by the sea-lion...din get eaten by any of the carnivores...din get too freaked out by the birds and lizards..it was simply wonderful...feel so relaxed with her..so comfortable.. haha looking forward to the next time we explore the country i live in ...haha coz im so blur about it...haha..wonderful time

last paper

finally..the last paper is in sight..seems like eternity since the first.. hmm.. last paper is mathematics..pde..vectors..double/triple integral..laplace... haha so mind-boggling..realised we almost finished the entire textbook of more than 1000 pages in just 8 months..feel so stuffed now..i dunno about other unis..but i feel its not quite right to be cramming so much topic into so short a time.. not just for maths... most notably for organic chemistry..a one-year course stuffed into a semester time.. ntu has taken the joy out of learning...

why bother

looking at them.. i really lost my faith in life...so tired..wish they will just break up..ha! tat will be the day.. wonder if she is willing to stick with me after i tell her everything tmw.. really afraid she wun.. but wish so much tat she will remain with me.. am i selfish? i have no idea..

yesterday..

haha yesterday was wonderful.. ermm.. haha started bad...was supposed to be just our day.. but she wanted to donate blood (noble hor.. haha unlike me..).it was such a long queue.. haiz.. in the end.. was late for the scbe bbq... well.. we were late.. but it wasnt started yet.. so we went for a walk by the nanyang lake.. haha... cool.. haha.. cant spend too many days like this anymore..i wouldnt want to study anymore and just want to slack with her.. how? haha.. it was a happy day